Gott-
dammit if I'm not up at 3:45 in the emmin-effin A.M. again, watchin' Nick at Nite. Well, not exactly watching right now; I cannot abide by
Wings. Now,
Three's Company -- dasswutahmtawkinbout, yo. I can wholeheartedly relate to comic misunderstandings.
This is all a leftover from full-time gigging. Sadly, I am neither drunk nor just returning from either the White Castle or The Egg Splatter. Not much of gigging, drinking, sliding or splattering these days, not a-tall.
In any event, I'd better get a life soon. Ooh, maybe there's one for sale on eBay...
Holla.
"She is very well, the lack of the tumor really suits her."
-- Ion Lascar, head of the plastic surgery department of Floreasca Hospital in Bucharest, after a team of Romanian and U.S. doctors successfully removed a tumor weighing 175 pounds from a patient in an operation lasting 10 hours. The patient, Lucica Bunghez, 47, had been largely confined to bed because of the tumor, which weighed almost double her body weight and covered her back, waist and hips.
Source: Reuters
Every time a pop-up window with Albert Einstein's picture on it intrudes upon someone's Internet experience, he surely spins in his grave.
The company that so grossly misappropriates the image of one of history's greatest minds is something called "Tickle by Emode." I admit that the first time one of their unsolicited offers appeared on my screen, featuring a photo of Einstein puffing on his pipe, I was intrigued. The window offered the chance to take an online IQ test. I had always wanted to take such a test.
I took it. I found out that I'm not a genius. Thanks a pantload, Tickle by Emode.
Alas, the pop-up windows continue unabated. Tickle by Emode continues to push its IQ test, as well as its online Personals site. I am interested in neither.
Orbitz could offer $1 luxury hotel rooms equipped with nymphomaniacal supermodels and complimentary mini-bars in midtown Manhattan -- they will not get that dollar from me. I'm checking ESPN.com to find out about the latest hot-stove baseball activity -- what does that have to do with discount air fares? When I visit my travel agent, do I want somebody accosting me at the door to give me the latest sports scores?
And why in the hell would I want to download 4,000 "smileys" for my e-mail? I use my emoticons sparingly, and even then, I'm perfectly capable of making them myself, thanks. :) Besides, are there even close to 4,000 facial expressions that a person can make?
Cell-phone bargains. Ads featuring clips from the latest action flick, complete with gunfire and explosions. Porn-site come-ons. Credit-card promotions, home-equity loan pitches and "get out of debt" offers. Our government has finally placed legal restrictions on telemarketers -- I only pray that similar regulations on pop-up ads will be instituted in the near future.
What next: Will some geek wearing a sandwich board jump in front of your car while you're driving? "Of course you want soup -- you just didn't know it!" (At least in that case you'd have the option of running his ass over. There's not a court in the land that would convict you.)
FYI, my home page is set to
My Way, a news and information page that is completely free of banner and pop-up ads. It comes equipped with the Google search engine, and lets me select the information I want and need at my fingertips (Top Stories, Sports, Entertainment, Dictionary, Calculator, TV Listings, etc.), while eliminating the material I don't. It is my cyber-sanctuary.
In summation I say this: Anyone who would purchase goods or services as the result of an Internet pop-up ad is no Einstein.
Try PopSwatter. It's free.
Jim Daly, location unknown, writes:
"you have the same name as my brother and i think this is a fake website."
Higgs of Higgs, NJ writes:
"Nice to see ya bloggin' again. The movie yer referring to regarding awkward silences in your most recent post is none other than Pulp Fiction, taking place between Uma Thurman and John Travolta at the 50's style restaurant. Just trying to pitch in."I am officially changing my name to Dumbass (it's pronounced "doo-MAHSS").
By the way, Higgs (a.k.a. "Swiggin' Higgin," guitarist for
Skanatra) has an encyclopedic knowledge of cinema and has surpassed Roger Ebert as my go-to movie critic. Check out his blog,
The "Swig" Screen.
Actually, no -- not always.
I can't remember what movie it was, but it included a bit of dialog about how people feel the need to fill otherwise quiet moments with inane conversation.
Not that said sentiment really applies here.
Actually, I've been really run down and feeling under the weather since, like, Thanksgiving. It's given me a lot of time to think. Too much time, actually. Blogging under those circumstances would be counterproductive. Hence, the silence.
In any event, my apologies to those who have checked back over the past couple of months for the latest blog entry, only to find cobwebs. If that should happen again anytime between now and November '04, you can make more productive use of your time by clicking
here. So, what's good?
I am in love with a band called
The Stereo. They have three albums out, my favorite of which is titled
No Traffic.
They're on an indie label called
Fueled By Ramen, run by guys who have pretty impeccable taste in music. There's tons of MP3s and stuff to download. Discs retail for $10; I ordered four CDs from them and they threw a bunch of free sampler CDs into the package. Gotta love that...
Karaoke at Cafe Eclectic has turned out to be very, very cool. There are so many talented people hanging out there. It's like
American Idol, only nowhere near as cheezy. Stop by sometime...
While we're on the subject, I'm on the lookout for another bar/cafe where I can establish Mike's Hard Karaoke on a weekday night. When all goes well, it's a great gig, because I love to sing and it's fun to hear other people sing. If anyone wants to suggest a place,
drop me a note...I'm looking for a song called "Girls and Cars," by an Ithaca punk band called The Tortillas You Wanted.
E-mail me if you have it...
I'm seriously considering doing another Christmas CD this year. Got an original holiday tune, or an idea for one? Again,
e-mail me...Looking forward to pitchers and catchers, as well as Season 5 of
The Sopranos . What can I say -- I'm a geek...
There, I've blogged. Feel better? I know I do. A belated Happy New Year to all. Talk soon.
